Breastfeeding and Mental Health

Recently someone posted this article about breastfeeding and mental health on facebook, and I’d just like to comment a bit on it.

Really there isn’t much more I can add to what these people have already said, but it seems pretty incredible to me, so I’m just going to say first of all, please go read the article, and second… WOW!

We all know the line ‘breast is best’, and for the most part there is no argument to that, it is true, breast milk is known to carry antigens and healthy bacteria to the infant from the mother, and if you have a choice then you should absolutely choose breast milk for your infant. *There are certain situations that do not allow for a baby to be exclusively breastfed, and I would hope you understand that I’m not saying every mother can and will be able to.

As a mother who tried to breastfeed all of her children and was successful with 3 out of four so far, I feel like I can speak in this area a little.  Mental health is affected by so much!

My daughter Sapphira was born by c-section, she was my second baby, and her older brother breastfed like a champ.  Sapphira however was smaller, much smaller than her brother, and had a lip tie (it wasn’t diagnosed until much too late to help our breastfeeding relationship).  I can honestly say that my mental health struggled a lot during this time.  I was diagnosed with PTSD, I was shocked that I wasn’t given the label of PPD, or just ‘the baby blues’… but I was actually traumatized from the surgical delivery of my daughter (that is a story for another day).

To say that my mental health wasn’t healthy is an understatement.  As with all new mother’s I didn’t get much sleep.  I was careful to care for my daughter and my toddler son, but often forgot to eat, or to shower when I really should have.  I was having nightmares of when the surgeon cut me, and I wasn’t enjoying being the mother of two.

And add to that the deep desire to feed my daughter the ‘best’, and the inability to get a good latch from her.  The worry of her not gaining weight, and the frustration at trying for more than 1/2 an hour to an hour every feeding just to get some food in her…

My milk supply did come in, but Sapphira wasn’t any good at getting it out, and I was exhausted.  I turned to pumping and bottle feeding, but my body doesn’t respond will to a pump so I was spending the majority of my day pumping milk instead of feeding my daughter.  And wishing I had time to play with my toddler.

Was I as attentive with my daughter as I was with my oldest child?  No.

However, I realized very early on that even though I didn’t really want to hold her (because the memories of her birth clouded my judgement at the time of who and what she was to me), I MUST hold her, I MUST not let her know that I was suffering, I MUST give her all that she, the innocent child she was, deserved to have from her mother.

I decided that knowing how important that bonding was I must absolutely do everything a breastfeeding mother would do with her child… and that meant that only rarely would I let other people feed her, that I would hold her when I fed her, that I would not prop a bottle up and leave her to eat alone.  I would rock her at night while I fed her, I would sing to her and rub her back, I would do the things I had done for my oldest, to create the bond, to help her socialize, to make the connections in her brain.

I didn’t even realize what I was doing at the time, I just knew that it was better for a baby to be held than to be left alone, and that I wanted to encourage her grow and learn, so I did what I felt was natural for a mama to do.  Now reading this article, and knowing about the bond that is formed from simply being forced to hold and attend to your baby even when you are struggling with a mental illness, and you don’t feel the bond yourself,  I feel like I might have done something more powerful than I even knew.  I’m so glad I followed my motherly instinct.

You have instincts in you to mother your children, I would urge every mother out there, use those instincts, even when you don’t ‘feel’ like it.  There were plenty of times my mental health was so low that I just wanted to walk away, but instead I stayed, for her sake.  Stay, for their sake.  Hold them because it is good for them, not because you feel like doing it.

And as a reward, later, when your brain starts feeling more normal, you’ll be glad you did because you’ll start to feel the way you wished you did before, and you’ll not have missed that critical time to bond with your baby, because you did it even when you didn’t feel like it.

 

Have a Cherished Birth!

(and breastfeeding experience)

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Jesus Take the Wheel

Recently in a facebook group that is fighting for parental rights, someone quoted the song “Jesus take the Wheel” sung by Carrie Underwood.  I love that song, it is so pretty, but it also has a great message.

The chorus says:

“Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
‘Cause I can’t do this on my own
I’m letting go
So give me one more chance
And save me from this road I’m on
Jesus, take the wheel”

The situation in the song has NOTHING to do with delivering babies, but the message still applies.

There are doulas and midwives, doctors and nurses who will call you a ‘birth goddess’ or cheer you on as you deliver your baby, and while I disagree with calling any woman a goddess, I would argue that in that moment it feels great to tell a woman how wonderful she is doing, and as a mom delivering a baby it is great to hear.  But there is one voice in our great country, who lives much too far away for me to meet her in person, that says we are not the only ones playing a part in our births.  The truth this woman speaks is amazing and was something my own heart had been feeling for a long time, but I just didn’t have the words to put it in… Kierra Blasser.  Kierra just has a heart for Jesus, it is all over her website, and in her podcasts, and she is a super sweet and friendly woman (I’ve only spoken to her through e-mail but it counts).

After taking Kierra’s childbirth class I finally (Yeah it took me seeing how someone else did it to understand how I could) got how God fit in the birth of my babies.  All we have to do is recognize that he is there, just like in everything else.  And let him take the wheel.

The truth is, we can’t do anything on our own, and birth is incredibly hard, so to think we are ‘goddesses’ and do birth on our own is just silly.

In the midst of a whirlwind two hour labor with my daughter Esmarie there was a time when I was completely alone, and felt like a child, I cried out to Jesus and said “I don’t want to be alone” and the answer spoken directly into my heart was “You aren’t”.  And from that moment until my birth team finally arrived I had another song in my heart…

“I am not alone” by Kari Jobe

“When I walk through deep waters
I know that You will be with me
When I’m standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
I will not fear

I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me”
It was a perfect moment of release, a moment when I truly knew without a doubt that though I labored with no man or woman near me, my savior was there, and I was NOT alone.
So my prayer for you, for all of the mama’s out there getting ready to bring their babies into the world, would be that you can give the wheel over to Jesus, and realize that you really are not alone, and that the creator of the world, the amazing father of all things, the one who created you, perfectly and in his image, the one who formed the child in your womb is with you, and he will protect you, and guide you.  And in that realization you will have an amazing birth, and see the power of God through it all.
Have a Cherished Birth

 

Part two, Your Birth Bag, beyond the essentials

I wrote a post a while ago about your birth bag, and promised a follow up with a more extensive list of the things that you might consider putting in your bag… The following is my list, as promised…

 

No Birth bag is complete without a doula, I’ll just say that…

The things you need for your birth are often included in her service, she has two extra arms to carry all the other things you bring to the hospital or birthing center as well.. and if you are birthing at home and your birth ‘bag’ is your whole house, she may come in handy since she will likely attempt to familiarize herself with the location of your essentials before you begin labor, so she would be highly beneficial beyond her training and expertise in birth.

But back to the actual bag… things you need…

Momma Pre-birth bag:

Tunes (you can bring a cd player and cd’s, ipod, mp3 player, or digital device to play your favorite music, but whatever you do, think about at least three types of music you might like during labor.  Slow, upbeat, country…. whatever you like, but you may like one kind pre-labor and another once you are in labor).

Scents-  Hospitals are not known for their beautiful smells, they are meant to be sterile, the scents of home, or essential oils that you enjoy may help you relax, you might bring a baggy of your favorite potpourri, a cloth with your favorite essential oils, or a diffuser are all options you could consider.

Comfy clothes- Consider bringing something you’d like to wear more than a hospital gown someone probably died in.  There are cute things sold on-line, but there is also your favorite pj’s, or some old clothes that you’d never wear to ‘look good’ but just feel good in.  When you consider what to wear please remember birth is messy, there is fluid involved in nearly every part of your body and the process of birth… some people puke, most people sweat, there is blood, and amniotic fluid… if getting those fluids on your clothes are an issue, you might consider skipping this one.

Hair brush- some people really like to have their hair brushed, and it relaxes them, you might like this too.

Hair tie- whether it looks good or not, you  may decide your hair just needs to be pulled up and a hair tie will help.

Headband- same reason as above, but it pulls all those little whispy hairs that don’t stay in your pony tail.

Socks- Lots of moms get cold feet in hospital, but they also don’t like wearing shoes in labor, so you might consider buying and bringing a pair of socks with a little tread on the bottom.  Pretty socks are fun too… some moms like to pick some incredibly funny socks.

Pillows- You’ll probably like laying your head on your own pillow much more than you’d ever enjoy the ones the hospital offers.

Visuals- Ultrasound pictures, a picture of a place you would like to visit, or loved being at some point, A stuffed animal, Some birth affirmations on cards you can hang up, or flip through.

Make-up- I’ve had a few moms start applying make-up in labor, so they can avoid the ‘I just worked the hardest I’ve ever worked in my life’ look, and greet their newborn infant with a fresh looking face… this is a fun thing to do in labor too if time and energy permit.

Rice bag- Great for a warm compress

Ice pack or water bag- great for a cold compress

yoga ball-great for getting into new or different positions during labor for comfort.

Drinks and snacks- most hospital births will recommend that mom’s do not eat or drink, but research suggests that this is an outdated policy, and doctors and nurses are beginning to permit these things in labor, in the end it is your choice whether you eat or drink and they can not stop you… (I will not tell you if you should or not, but would gladly talk to you about the risks and benefits if you like, so that you can choose for yourself).  Regardless clear drinks are almost always accepted by the nurses and doctors during labor… so an electrolyte drink is usually not questioned at all, I have had moms drink Kefir, and bring honey sticks as well.

books and games- Most mom’s I have served do not use these things, but when labor goes for a long time, or is induced these are good things to include, just in case.

 

Dad’s Labor Bag:

Yup Dad’s need stuff too!

Swim shorts- if mama wants to shower, or bathe during labor you may end up in a position of support that leaves you wet, having clothes that you’ll be comfortable in is beneficial to you.

Money-You are going to get hungry, or want to visit the gift shop, or cafe at some point, having a debit or credit card, or cash on hand is a good idea.

Comfortable shoes-You’ll be on your feet awhile.

Pillow-Some births last a long time and Dad’s like to take a nap, this is a great idea depending on the situation, and you should be as comfortable as possible if you nap.

tooth brush and tooth paste- Mom doesn’t want to smell your breath after you’ve had something to eat and she is starving because the doctor said ‘nothing by mouth’.

Mama’s post-birth bag:

I recommend that you don’t pack all your things in one bag, put them in two, then in labor you only bring up the ‘labor bag’, and after baby is born and you’ve switched rooms to be in your postpartum room send Dad down to get your other bag.

Clean clothes- after baby is born you do not need a hospital gown, unless you are comfortable in that, but you will want something easy to nurse in, and that is loose and dark colored in the bottom area.  You will be bleeding after baby is born and a light colored pair of pants might end up with a blood stain on them (I did this with my first baby, and my baby blue yoga pants were ruined, but SO COMFORTABLE)…

Hygiene items:  Hair brush, tooth brush, hair ties, make-up, sanitary pads (the hospital provides these, but if you have a brand you prefer you can bring them with you), underwear (the hospital also provides these, but they stretch out pretty fast so you may want to have the comfort of your own), deodorant, shampoo and conditioner and body wash (the hospital will probably only provide baby shampoo which isn’t very pleasant for adults).

Camera

Book

Boppy

 

Baby’s Bag:

Going home outfit

Diapers and wipes (the hospital provides these and any open package can be taken home with you, but if you prefer a specific brand bring them with you)

a small bottle of Olive oil- pour a little on baby’s butt before they poop that first poo, and for the next few diaper changes after you’ve cleaned them up, and you’ll not have a hard time cleaning up that first tar-like poop

a few onsies or outfits for wearing until you are sent home (hospitals usually provide a hat and a long sleeve onsie, but if you prefer your own you should bring some with you.)

Car seat- You will not be able to go home without a car seat for baby.  In my experience though nurses are required to attend a class or learn about car seat safety they do not always know what they are talking about when checking your child for a proper fit in their car seat (my 6’lb 4oz daughter was ‘cleared’ to go home in a seat that did not fit at all, luckily I knew and sent my husband to buy a different seat).

 

 

This list was just sort of fun to put together, most of the items listed are not essential to birth.  Many of the items are provided for you by the hospital or birth center you plan to deliver at, and others are only helpful if you are going to be in hospital for a long time… however we never know what birth will look like until it is said and done, so have fun putting together the things that are important to you, and don’t worry too much about what you do and don’t have.

Have a Cherished Birth.

 

Birth and Fear

Today I met a random pregnant stranger who told me some things about birth in Oklahoma that I already knew, VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean section) is not easy to do, not because it is actually harder than any other labor, but because Oklahoma doesn’t support VBAC.

After meeting this woman, and she had explained to me that she was to have a c-section, because she lived too far from the hospitals who provide other options and she was frightened of home birth, I began to think about fear.

We are often told as laboring moms that we should be able to ‘birth without fear’.  It is the title of a book about birth, it is the phrase most doula’s want to turn into truth for their clients, it is what Midwives hope to accomplish with the women they serve.  But we have far to go before fear is abolished.  And sadly it isn’t just the mothers who are experiencing fear.

Right now, this weekend, the future of home birth is lying in the hands of Senators, they will choose the future of many mothers and their yet to be born babies.  A proposed bill that would say that certified nurse midwives would not be allowed to attend VBAC births anymore will be heard in session Monday.  Another bill (not sure when it will be heard) is saying that certified professional midwives and lay midwives would no longer legally be able to attend home birth.

I have met midwives who are scared for the mothers, scared of each other, and scared that the career they have spent their lives building and love doing will be taken from them. I have seen how they have stood together, and how they have fallen short of being united, but mostly I have seen how scared they are.

But surely the fear stops there?  Sadly no it doesn’t.  Fear is in the hearts of our Dr.s, They don’t practice evidence based care, they practice hospital policy, insurance regulation, and cover your tracks medicine….They are scared that if they miss something vital it will ruin their career, that it will harm someone, that they will loose someone, mother or child.

Doulas are not above the fear either.  Doulas are scared that if they speak up for a client it will soil their reputation with the Dr.s, or even their certifying agency.  Or if they do something that someone might deem as medical, then they will be held responsible for the outcome…. They are also scared that they wont be getting enough business.  Over the last year I’ve heard time and again that doulas all over the state are getting less clients than they have had in the past.  Why?  Why are we getting less work?  No one knows but it is enough to make them worried, and even at times lash out at each other, a network of people that have bound themselves to each other to uphold and support one another.

These are scary times… what are we to do?  What do we tell our clients or patients?  What do we tell ourselves?

The more I consider it, the only answer is found in the Bible.

When I prepared for the birth of my daughter last August I wrote several phrases and bible verses out on paper, and hung them in a corner of my bedroom where I envisioned I would labor and deliver her. Turns out I didn’t really look at any of them in the two hours I labored and delivered my baby.  But in the time leading up to the birth I often fell on one particular verse.  I couldn’t understand why I would be drawn to it, but I was, drawn to the words, the meaning, the essence of the verse.

“‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.’” Isaiah 43:1b-2 (NIV)

Do not fear.  You wont be overtaken, You wont be burned…. God gives us several passages in the bible about fear, and how we should not let it control us.  He knows…

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  Jeremiah 29:11-13

He has plans to prosper you, all you have to do is seek him.

Are you scared?  Seek God.

Are you worried?  Seek God.

Are you hurt?  Seek God.

Don’t know what to do?  Seek God.

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7
The answer to your anxiety, regardless of what it is from; rude treatment of others in your field, litigation, previous birth experiences, the unknown…. all of it is a prayer, a petition, a praise of God away from where you are now.  The peace that has no rightful place in you when you are surrounded on all side with uncertainty, and fear, will come and blanket you; protect you from fear, doubt, and anxiety.
Just Seek God
and
Have a Cherished Birth

Birth Bag

Birth requires so much preparation!

Every time I think of it I think of how you will have to choose a care provider. Decide how you will decorate the nursery and where baby will sleep?  How will you choose or end up feeding your baby?  Who is going to do the majority of the care?  What daycare will you choose or will you stay home with your baby?  SO MANY THINGS!

One thing that usually gets overlooked, until the very end of pregnancy is the BIRTH BAG!

See there is this notion that when you deliver your baby you are going to want some comfort items from your own home.  AND I FULLY AGREE!!!  But what do you pack?  And then there is also the question of whether you leave it in the car until after baby is born, or bring it up while you deal with contractions and triage.  And don’t forget, when baby is born anything you brought into the room with you to deliver, will need to be transported to the recovery room.

I find it hilarious to think of all the bags and items that will be carried from one room to the next, the fact that mama will also need to be pushed in a wheelchair, whether she needs it or not, and daddy will LOAD that chair with all the bags, and then carry some himself, and the nurse or daddy will push the chair to the new room only to unload it all in a corner and dig through it for the precious items again later.

So the question is, what do you REALLY need to pack?

I’ve got two lists, the minimalist (which honestly I recommend doing, because daddy has to carry everything you bring into the hospital back out) is what I’ll share today.

Mommy Items:

Pillow (hospital pillows are horrible unless you like flat and lifeless in your quality of a pillow.)

Hair brush (before, during or even after birth brushing your hair might be a nice comfort)

Small shampoo and conditioner (think travel size, the hospital will only have baby shampoo)

Toothbrush and paste

Comfortable clothing for going home in.  (please be sure to bring something loose and soft, you won’t want jeans or tight shirts at this point, comfort is everything and pre-pregnancy clothes probably wont fit just yet).

Hair band or Head band, depending on what you would prefer.

Socks

 

Baby items:

going home outfit

Pacifier (this is controversial, and should only be used under perfect circumstances, but having it when those circumstances are perfect is a nice thing, please don’t use it if you don’t need it though).

 

Daddy:

Strong arms (yeah you get to carry all this stuff.

Change or a debit card for snacks or food at the café

 

So that’s the minimalist list, but if you don’t mind carrying a bunch of stuff and/or have not gotten a doula (I highly recommend that you do, and if you do, let her bring all the comfort items, just talk to her about your preferences and she’ll take care of it) then next time I’ll gladly guide you through a much more extensive list of needed or perhaps appreciated items you could consider bringing with you.

 

Have a Cherished Birth!

What was one thing you took with you that you couldn’t live with out?  I’d love to hear about it!

What does it take?

What does it cost to be a doula?

This is really a loaded question.

The reason I’m mentioning it now is because I believe I’ll be up for taking births again in July, I’ve taken some time off, to get used to my new baby, and reevaluate my family life, goals and what it is I hope to achieve with this business.  But I’m getting ready, client or no, to take the business on again, and with that I had to evaluate my costs… and when you add a new child to the family it changes everything, including your fee as a doula.

I’ve had to bump up my price from $500 to $550 for any upcoming births.  This really shouldn’t come as too much of a shock, I was one of the cheapest doulas on http://www.doulamatch.com, and still am. Life costs money though, and since I now have to pay a sitter for 4 kids rather than 3 I had to adjust my fee.  I apologize if this is hard for anyone financially, I don’t want to see anyone birth without the team of people they want present, so please if you are considering a doula, don’t let the numbers daunt you, contact me, or any other doula, some work voluntarily, some have scholarships available, some work for a discount, and most will consider your case individually.  The money should never be an obstacle.

I also had to change my travel distance, I used to travel 90 miles, to do home visits, but that is no longer possible for me.  I will still attend moms who are birthing within my area but live outside of it, so if you live outside the circle of 60 miles of my house, don’t let that hinder you either… We can arrange a place to meet, or I can add a small fee for the extra distance if you are set on me attending you!  And I so wish you would consider me!

That is the logistics of this work, but there is also a great cost that has no monetary value as well. So here it is… what does it cost to be a doula?

When I agree to serve at a birth I have to be mindful of my family, most birth workers are, birth is so unpredictable,  If I accept a birth on or near a holiday, or one of my family member’s birthdays, that means I may miss the time with them, something I will never get back.

When I agree to attend a birth, it means I may miss sleep.  My husband and children may miss sleep too, I may have to wake them all in the middle of the night to carry the little ones out the door and to a sitter’s house.

When I agree to attend a birth, it is going to cost me prayers.  I will lift my family, and yours up to my heavenly father all the way to our agreed meeting place.  My prayers, and KLove fill the empty space in my car all the way to your birth. And often all the way to your home when I meet with you before labor.

When I attend a birth it costs me moments, moments that are then paid back by the incredible love I have for your family, for the new life that is brought into your arms.  It costs my children sympathy, empathy, and prayers, and kindness, sharing and selflessness…. they learn that their mama is helping other mamas bring their babies into their arms.  They learn that their mama is a warrior for the good of others, and that they can be too.  It isn’t one birth that I return from that one of my lovely little children ask me “did you help that mama?” or “was the baby a girl baby or a boy baby?” or “was the baby cute, was the mama and daddy happy?”  And at night as I tuck them in and say their prayers with them when a birth is coming up, I remind them that I may not be home in the morning and they pray with their passionate little voices for the mamas and daddies that are expecting a new baby to be safe, and happy, and have a good birth.

As I see a baby fresh from their mother’s womb and brought to her arms it costs me tears, tears of joy.

When a Daddy holds his son or daughter for the first time, it costs me a little space on my SD card as I click a photo of that moment.

One of the biggest costs I experience, is the wonder, I wonder constantly whether I have done my best, or if I made their space a safe one, a pleasant one, the one they imagined it would be.  Was I a benefit?  Was I helpful enough?  Was I in the way?

None of my costs are ever too much, I gain far more than it will ever cost me.

 

Trust God, not birth

Ever since I was pregnant for the first time 8 years ago the phase “trust birth” has been spoken around me, and in the context of allowing a woman’s body to function the way it was designed to.

The idea is that your body created this baby and will instinctively know how to birth said baby.  While on the surface I agree with this statement I do not agree that as a doula I can tell my clients to “trust birth” or “trust your body”.  The problem with these statements is deep.  On the surface they are good, having trust helps to calm a worried person and certainly adds to the atmosphere of peace that is helpful to a laboring woman,but what exactly are we asking them to trust?  I’m going to disect both statements here.

TRUST BIRTH

Birth is not a tangible thing really.  It varies in intensity for each woman who experiences it each time she experiences it.  Birth is an event.  Birth can be experienced and felt, it can affect a woman and a family for the rest of their lives, but it cannot be ‘trusted’ really.  There are times when we trust, and our trust is broken, birth is certainly not above that.

Birth should be respected instead.  The process of birthing a baby is extremely intimate, intimate in more ways than the obvious.  Birth is a chemical reaction between two independent people to achieve the same goal, separation of an infant from the womb of it’s mother.  Birth is a time when a woman needs to feel secure so that her own brain chemistry does what it is supposed to do to communicate with her child and bring them out of their warm environment into the arms of their mother for a new season of living.

Birth can and sometimes does go wrong.  I am not in anyway saying a woman should fear those things, but trusting birth may also make her feel like she wasn’t good enough if things go differently than she had hoped for.  No we can not put our trust in birth.

Respect is different from trust, respect understands that there is room for emergency, but allows the bodies of both baby and mother to work together without interruption unless an emergency arises and not before.  Being respectful of both mother and child, and their birthing space, not interfering unless needed.

This reminds me of the midwife at my homebirth, she and her assistant waited patiently in the next room for sounds of change, occasionally coming quietly to check on us,listening to fetal heart tones and going back to the neighboring room to wait some more.  They were prepared for emergency but not expecting it, they were watchful for our well-being but respectful of the process of birth.  They were not trusting birth, they were birth guardians.

TRUST YOUR BODY

This also doesn’t make sense to me.  If my body were made to be trustworthy then it should also be predictable, or at least not let me down in other areas.  I don’t think everyone has the same issues I have with my body but while I have delivered two out of three of my babies vaginally without pain medication I have also been let down by my body a number of times,and most of them have little to do with childbirth.  Like when I got severe pain in my knees and ended up with X-ray’s and doctors and appointments that all lead no where… How can I trust my body when it will break down and not tell me why?  How about when my body spontaneously decided that a baby should implant in my right Fallopian tube instead of my uterus?  No my body is not worthy of my trust, it lets me down…

On top of this fact I know that birth isn’t just about my body… Birth is about my body and the body of my baby working together.  If we could trust our bodies alone to bring babies out then the shoulders of some babies wouldn’t get stuck, babies would come gently, slowly and not tear their mothers on the way out (the mothers who have excellent control and don’t push too hard at the end of birth but still that baby flies out and tears her skin).  If we could put our trust in our bodies then we wouldn’t have emergencies in birth… But that doesn’t work either. We simply cannot trust in our bodies for birth, and probably not in anything if I were to tell the truth.

So what can we trust?

I believe the only answer is God.  He designed birth, he designed your body, he knit together your baby while you carried it inside of you, ate healthy and took your supplements regularly.  He made the baby a perfect size, shape, and design for his purpose.

So when birth happens, and we trust not in the event, or our bodies, but in a perfect creator who designed all of the experience, saw it all before it happened, and knew that good would come of it, then we have the freedom to accept whatever comes our way.

When we trust God and his word we know that he has a plan for us, a plan for good and not evil, and if we really believe that then we respect birth, watch over it carefully, and wait to see if God has planned for it to go smoothly or if we will experience ripples along the way.  And the we are able to:

CHERISH EVERY MEMORY

LOVE EVERY MOMENT

EMBRACE EVERY POSSIBILITY.

(the motto of my business.)

God alone is trustworthy, in unmediated/medicated, vaginal/c-section, euphoric/I think I may die, attended/unattended, emergent/non-emergent, at home/in hospital, natural/induced, early/late, fast/slow birth.

Trust God with the birth of your baby.

If you would like to speak to me about how to realistically do this I would be happy to schedule a consultation with you.